Skip to main content

Do I Have the Tendencies of a Loner?

Hi, I’ve been struggling for some time now with getting in a relationship. Whenever I find someone I like, if they reciprocate the feeling I shortly lose interest in them and I no longer find see them as a ‘crush’.

I am a person who enjoys being alone and I need time with myself, such as doing things I like without getting annoyed by others. I tend to distance myself from people if they become clingy, I just cannot stand it. Even in my childhood, I used to spend time alone, didn’t have many friends. However, now when it comes to relationships I struggle, sometimes with friendships as well. I easily get sick of them and it is bothering me that I cannot commit to one person.

Is it normal to feel this way? What should I do? Thank you!

A. Effectively answering your question would require more information about the nature of your relationships. For instance, how many times have you tried beginning a relationship with someone and lost interest? How long do these relationships last? What exactly do you mean by “crush”? Having the answers to those questions would help me to ascertain the nature of your relationships and add the necessary context to your question.

You might be choosing people who you thought at first were a match but came to learn that they were not. That’s what dating is all about. Dating involves meeting (sometimes many) people and trying to determine if they are a good partner. It would be problematic if you stayed with someone that you did not like.

Dating, by its very nature, is a process of rejecting everyone who is not a match. Most of the people you date will not be someone who you continue to date. Typically, people date and choose the one person with whom they wish to spend the rest of their life. Most relationships don’t last and breaking up is the norm.

You mentioned not wanting to be around “clingy” people. That is understandable. It is an undesirable trait. You also wrote that you like to sometimes be alone. Among healthy people, that is not an unusual or unhealthy trait. Abraham Maslow, who studied psychologically healthy people, observed that they prefer solitude and privacy to a greater degree than the average person. The persons that he studied had friends but not many and did not feel compelled to be with others out of loneliness or for other similar reasons. You can read more about self-actualizing people in his books.

It’s possible that your approach to relationships is not abnormal or indicative of being a “loner.” You might consider meeting with a local therapist who can gather information about the nature of your relationships and determine if there is a problem. Therapists specialize in relationships and can advise you in making appropriate changes, if necessary. Best of luck to you.

Dr. Kristina Randle



from Ask the Therapist http://ift.tt/2iJhJhX
via IFTTT

Become a patron of The Carlisle Wellness Network. Show everyone that you think this service is worth at least a buck. Go to; http://ift.tt/2i70pBW and pledge one dollar per month and help improve the resources it takes to gather the articles you see here as well as create fresh content including interviews an podcasts. We only need one dollar per month from all of our patrons to give The Carlisle Wellness Network a bright furture in the health and wellness social media ecosystem.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Breathlessness Treatments Can Ease Distress, Depressive Symptoms

New research finds that treatments for breathlessness can reduce distress and symptoms of depression.Breathlessness is a common symptom in advanced disease and can lead to panic and anxiety for patients and their family. It can trouble people even when resting or performing light activities around the home, researchers at King’s College London note.“With our aging population and increasing multi-morbidity, the number of people affected by breathlessness worldwide is set to rise,” the researchers report.Published in the journal Thorax, the study combined the findings of existing research to better understand holistic services for people with advanced disease experiencing breathlessness. These services aim to improve a person’s ability to manage their breathlessness by putting the person before their disease, researchers explained. They do this by providing information and education, psychological support, and encouraging self-management strategies that patients and their caregivers can…

Modified herpes virus effective against late-stage melanoma

New research finds that therapy with a genetically modified herpes virus is highly effective in the treatment of stage 3 melanoma, with few side effects.

from Cancer / Oncology News From Medical News Today http://bit.ly/2Mw2wMe
via IFTTTBecome a patron of The Carlisle Wellness Network. Show everyone that you think this service is worth at least a buck. Go to; https://www.patreon.com/carlislewellness and pledge one dollar per month and help improve the resources it takes to gather the articles you see here as well as create fresh content including interviews an podcasts. We only need one dollar per month from all of our patrons to give The Carlisle Wellness Network a bright furture in the health and wellness social media ecosystem.