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My Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust Me

From a teen in the U.S.: okay so, my boyfriend says he trusts me but I feel like he doesn’t because next week I have to go to another city for a competition with my team and we will be staying there for 2/3 days. That city is only half an hour away from the beach so he thinks that I’m gonna be messing around with guys while I’m there. And I told him that I would never ever in a million years do something to ruin this relationship.

I really do love him. I trust him with all my heart. He keeps telling me that I shouldn’t go and drop out of the team. This is the very first time I am on this team and this is our team’s Final Competition. I can’t just ditch the team in less than a week. He says I can go if I want to but he doesn’t know if we will still be dating when I get back from the competition.

I don’t wanna lose him. And lately, people have been talking crap about me that isn’t true and he somewhat believes them. And he told me if I go to this competition and when we return, if people start telling him that I was doing this and I was doing that (like messing/flirting with other guys) that he was gonna break up with me. What should I do?

A: What you should do is ditch this guy immediately. You may love him but his idea of “love” is all about control and manipulation. Someone who really loves you would be your biggest fan and wouldn’t be threatening to dump you when you have a big opportunity like this. So go to your competition. Have a great time. And give this guy the boot. You deserve so much better.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

from Ask the Therapist

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