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Boyfriend Flirting with Other Women

I am in a fairly new relationship with a man who calls me daily and we are pre cautiously getting to know one another- without any sex.

The problem is that, he compliments barmaids, waitresses on their looks: i.e “you have the bluest blue eyes,” etc., and he does not compliment me on my looks (except when he first met me on an online dating app).

Why does he withhold showing me his compliments/feelings- when he is so self-expressive to other women????

This is a question that only he can answer. You should ask him directly. It’s a perfectly reasonable question, especially since the two of you are still getting to know each other. If he gives you an unsatisfactory answer, then perhaps he’s not a match for you.

New relationships involve getting to know the other person: how do they behave in general and in special moments, and so forth. You are constantly judging whether or not you find their behavior acceptable, in line with your values, etc. Essentially, you’re trying to judge whether they are a viable match.

You’ll have to decide whether or not his flirting with other women is a “deal breaker” for you. It’s generally a worrisome sign, especially in a new relationship but that’s a decision only you can make. Gather more information by asking him directly. His response will help you to know whether you should continue in this relationship. Good luck with your efforts. Thanks for your question.

Dr. Kristina Randle

from Ask the Therapist

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