Skip to main content

Can a Man with Antisocial Personality Disorder Have a Relationship with Me?

From a college coed in the U.S.: I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for a year and a half now and today he dropped a bomb on me that his parents want him to break up with me. Their reason for saying that is because he was diagnosed with Anti social personality disorder (ASPD) a couple years ago and don’t think it’s fair to me. He once told me about his ASPD and I remember reading up on it and seeing a couple of symptoms that could apply to him, but also a lot of people at the same time.

He’s never physically harmed me, never really yelled at me. We’ve gotten in arguments, but they’ve always been like normal relationship arguments. We always talk about the future together and look at houses we potentially want to live in together and talk about kids. I guess I’m just very confused. Every time I read up on ASPD, it always says that he’ll use me to benefit for himself. But he’s not really a self centered person and I don’t know what he’d be using me for.

His parents say he uses me as someone to talk to, but we have normal couple conversations and a lot of fun together. When I first met him, he was like any other college boy. I didn’t find him anymore charming than the next. We immediately talked about our love for music and hit it off. I have caught him in lies but they’re always little white lies like “did you take out the trash” and he would just say yes and that he lied because he didn’t want me to yell at him.

He has always been very driven about his work and his future. He did however have a rough childhood that he has always been very open and honest about as did his mother and he had a history of alcohol abuse that has calmed down immensely.
To me, he seems for the most part like a normal guy and he’s always treated me like a princess with surprises and wanting to do things with me. I don’t know what to think. Personally I think his parents are trying to convince him to break up with me but I don’t know. What do you think?

It may be that his parents are well-intended and trying to prevent heartbreak. It may also be that they are mistaken about their son.

I’m sure your boyfriend knows about the diagnosis. It had to come from somewhere. The way to settle the matter is for him to get a second opinion. It could be that the diagnosis was made when he was still a teen and that he has developed to the point that he no longer meets the criteria for ASPD. From your report, I’m guessing that’s the case. But that’s only a guess on the basis of your letter.

If he no longer has the symptoms of ASPD, he can inform his parents and maybe they can relax. If they persist in trying to separate the two of you, then it is likely that something else is going on, in which case, he needs to have a difficult but important conversation with them about why they are concerned.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie



from Ask the Therapist https://ift.tt/2Pif26S
via IFTTT

Become a patron of The Carlisle Wellness Network. Show everyone that you think this service is worth at least a buck. Go to; https://www.patreon.com/carlislewellness and pledge one dollar per month and help improve the resources it takes to gather the articles you see here as well as create fresh content including interviews an podcasts. We only need one dollar per month from all of our patrons to give The Carlisle Wellness Network a bright furture in the health and wellness social media ecosystem.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Working Remotely Is Not Necessarily Stress-Free

Many believe that working from home or remotely can foster freedom and stress-free job satisfaction, and that everyone wants  more work autonomy. A new study from Baylor University in Waco, Texas, says “Not so fast.” In the study, researchers examined the impact of remote work on employee well-being. Their findings suggest that a variety of factors can undermine or accent the employee benefits of working off-site. Accordingly, researchers developed new strategies to help managers provide remote-work opportunities that are valuable to the employee and the company. “Any organization, regardless of the extent to which people work remotely, needs to consider well-being of their employees as they implement more flexible working practices,” the researchers wrote. The study appears in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology . In the review, a total of 403 working adults were surveyed for the two studies that made up the research, said lead author Sara Perry, Ph.D. Re

Today’s Popular Music is More Angry, Sad and Less Joyful

Today’s popular music is noticeably different from the popular songs of the 1960s and 1970s. Now a new study reveals that it’s not just the music itself that is different; today’s music consumers seem to prefer songs that express darker emotions in both lyric and tone. The findings, published in the Journal of Popular Music Studies , show that the expression of anger and sadness in popular music has increased gradually over time, while the expression of joy has declined. Using quantitative analytics, researchers from Lawrence Technological University in Michigan studied changes in popular music lyrics throughout the last seven decades, from the 1950s to 2016. Data scientists Kathleen Napier and Dr. Lior Shamir analyzed the lyrics of more than 6,000 songs found on the Billboard Hot 100, a list of the most popular songs of each year. In the past, songs were ranked primarily by record sales, radio broadcasting, and jukebox plays, but in more recent years, popularity is based on several

I Pretend that Fictional Characters Are Real & Talk to Myself as Them

I’ve always loved to play pretend. But now that I’m a teenager, instead of outgrowing it, it’s gotten worse. Now I’ve gotten to the point where it’s an obsession, and I spend more time with my imaginary friends then with real people. I pretend that my favorite characters from movies and TV shows are real, and I talk to myself, both as myself and the character. I have long discussions with myself. I also pretend that they are with me everywhere I go–to the supermarket, to my cousin’s house. I pretend that they’re with me, no matter what I do. Lately, I’ve also been doing something that’s hard to explain: I pretend to be two people (usually myself and my mother, or a cousin, or a made-up person) and have a pretend to have a conversation with them. I pretend that the fiction character is watching me and my mother/cousin/other. Usually, those scenarios involve either a verbal fight, or joking. I’m really concerned because I know this is abnormal and I’m not living a normal life. I’m worri