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I Don’t Know What’s Wrong with Me

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The other day I was feeling so alone and insecure and for some reason I took I just took a BUNCH of pills I found. I don’t even know why I did it and now I feel so sick. I’ve never done that before and I’m kind of scared. I’ve never actually been diagnosed with depression but it runs in my family. My brother has really bad anxiety and my mom had depression when she was my age and she also had an eating disorder. I took a bunch of online tests and they all said I have severe depression but I know I shouldn’t trust those. I just feel like such a failure and like such a burden on everyone. I’m sad most the time and sometimes whenever I catch myself in a good mood, my mood immediately turns bad like I won’t let myself be in a good mood. I barely ever leave my house except for school and cheer, but my cheer season is over now. I barely have any friends and I never talk to the ones I do have because I feel like they all hate me and think I’m annoying. My grades are getting lower and I don’t even care, I’m just worried about how my parents will react. I don’t have motivation to do anything anymore. I don’t enjoy anything I used to enjoy. I feel like my life is pointless and it wouldn’t make a difference if I was here or not. Sometimes I think about killing myself, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the guts to actually do it. I just want to know if this is normal because my mom told me that all teenagers feel this way.

It’s normal for teenagers to feel insecure, but it’s not normal for them to take a “bunch of pills” or to want to end their lives. I would categorize your taking pills as a possible suicide attempt. That is a serious matter. Coupled with the change in your grades and your indifference about living, depression is a possibility.

I would encourage you to tell your mother about how you are feeling. She should know about the fact that you took a “bunch of pills.” If she still thinks this is “normal,” then tell her you’ve written to us at Psych Central. That might convince her that you’re serious about wanting help.

Unfortunately, many teenagers have a difficult time convincing their parents that they need treatment. There are many reasons why but chief among them may be that parents don’t want to think that their child needs help beyond what they can provide.

Ask your mother to take you to a therapist. All of the problems that you have described are treatable with counseling. There’s no reason to suffer with treatable problems. That’s yet another reason why you should try to convince your mother that you want treatment.

If that doesn’t work, and your mother still refuses, go to the guidance counselor at school and ask for their help. They will know what to do.

Hopefully this response will assist you in getting the help that you deserve. If you feel the urge to hurt yourself or someone else, call emergency services or go to the hospital. They will keep you safe. Good luck and please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

from Ask the Therapist

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