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Why Do I Get Depressed When I Get into Relationships?

I’ve been in 5 relationships and I’m currently in one, we’ve only been dating for about a month and I’ve gotten really depressed, I’ve stopped liking things I used to like and I feel no motivation to get up in the morning and I’m so tired all the time. I went from so happy with this guy to absolutely dreading the mention of his name, I don’t want to see him anymore and every time he talks to me or texts me I feel nauseous. I don’t understand why I have developed a hatred towards him when a couple of weeks ago I couldn’t stop talking about him. This isn’t the first time this has happened. The last three relationships I was pretty much obsessed with these guys and then like a flip of a switch I become depressed and I developed a hatred towards them. However, once I break up with them it’s like nothing ever happened and I instantly feel refreshed and back to normal.

I know very little about your personal situation so I can only speculate. New relationships are often exciting but that excitement can wear off. In the beginning, you hardly know each other. Perhaps the more you learn about the individual, the less you like about them. In that way, it could be that you’re choosing the wrong people.

It’s also possible that you’re not ready for a relationship. The teenage years are a turbulent time. It’s a time of self-exploration, and so forth. It may be better to avoid dating until you gain a deeper understanding of the type of person you might like.

Because you’re describing a repetitive pattern to your behavior, you should consider counseling. You also mentioned feeling depressed in relationships and that is not the norm. A therapist would be in the best position to answer your relationship questions. Give it a try. Good luck and please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

from Ask the Therapist

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