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Frustration and Shutting Down

I’ve noticed for the past 2 years, I will have “mood swings”. One minute I’m so excited to visit my parents who live a few hours away…but a couple hours after I arrive, I notice that I go from being happy to shut down. I don’t want to talk about anything. I don’t want to be bothered. I’ve noticed this issue w, my boyfriend of 4 years, as well. We will be perfectly happy for a month straight and one day I just am so bothered by him though he hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s been happening often lately. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with but in high school I weighed 140ish… after high school I started dating my current boyfriend and I gained almost 60 lbs. since the weight gain, I don’t go out. I haven’t spent time with friends in over a year because I am embarrassed and insecure. I’m not sure if maybe I’m taking my insecurities and frustration out on others. I just don’t know what to do anymore. When I feel annoyed or frustrated, I know in my head that it’s wrong and I shouldn’t be rude or distant but my body won’t listen. Its like I have no control. I noticed my reactions have pushed my boyfriend away to thinking he did something wrong. I tell him over and over again that it’s not him… but then he tries to be affectionate or make me laugh and I shut down. I don’t want to be affectionate unless it’s on my time. I don’t understand it. I’ve tried to talk to my doctor about this but all they have done is prescribe depression medication. She didn’t really listen. Please help. Thank you.

The rapid weight gain combined with the mood swings suggests that something happened around the time of finishing high school and the beginning of dating. As the physician may only be looking at this through the physical and medical lens, you may want to have a therapy session with a clinical psychologist who can help explore through testing and therapy what may have been going on during that time in your life. The fact that there was a major transition with the people you were with in high school to your boyfriend would be a place to start. I’d pursue individual therapy to see if the therapist can help you sort through what’s underneath these frustrations.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

from Ask the Therapist

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