I realize that this has been asked before but my situation is different from the rest. When I was younger I was a pathological liar. I have been through three family divorces, I have severe depression, anxiety, and I have ADHD. I have loved the idea of the human body and how it works since I was little. When I would see animal corpses I wanted to take them apart and search them. I have been suicidal a lot. With this new divorce, I have come to hate the person my parent is divorcing. I hate them so much that I cannot be in the same room as them or hear their name without wanting to throw up. It has escalated to the point that I have constant violent thoughts when I hear or see them. These kinds of thoughts have spread to the people around me (like passers-by), meaning that I think about hurting them.
I do not want to hurt them but at times I appreciate the thought….
I am afraid of therapists for some reason so I am afraid of asking for help. My parents are also having issues with money so I do not want to burden them.
I admire your perseverance and courage in managing these charged and difficult feelings. You have already shown a great deal of bravery by reaching out our group of PsychCentral therapists. Perhaps you are less afraid to ask for help than you think.
The university you are at has a counseling center that will offer low or no-cost therapy. I highly recommend you begin one-on-one counseling to start sorting through these feelings. Hating the person your mother is divorcing and displacing your anger onto others is something these counselors are trained to understand and help.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral
from Ask the Therapist http://bit.ly/2TO54rZ
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